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Celina Montague's Journal
13 most recent entries

Date:2003-07-02 09:40
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Not that anybody reads this, but I feel compelled to write something.

I've graduated from Hogwarts. Very odd. I suppose I would feel more like there'd been a change if there was some sort of ceremony to recognise those graduating. But there wasn't. I wonder if anyone shall remember that I'm gone?

And now I'm in my new flat in London. Mother and Father were rather surprised, but I've been saving the money I'd received as birthday and holiday presents from relatives for years and investing it carefully, and I have quite a tidy sum in my personal vault at Gringotts. Grandmother's generous graduation present helped as well.

I'll begin seeking employment soon. I have an interview at the Ministry in their Magical Law Enforcement department relatively soon, and the person who was overlooking my credentials seemed rather impressed. I just hope they don't try to steer me into their Auror program - I certainly have the marks for it, but it's not exactly my cup of tea, as it were.

Just think, in another few weeks I'll be living a new life. No longer a schoolgirl. Curious, that; things change so swiftly. I'll hardly be recognisable as my old self.

I think I like that.

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Date:2003-06-12 21:30
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The year is drawing to a close. Finally. Took long enough. Strangely, I'm not worried about NEWTs at all. Suppose all the studying has paid off, because right now I'm at peace about the whole issue.

I am going to miss a few people, though, after graduation. Never thought I'd feel even a bit sad about the year ending...But the independence will be nice.

Good luck to everyone on their exams.

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Date:2003-05-11 20:41
Subject:
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Mood: pensive

I should be happy about this. But I'm not.

I don't want to see him upset or hurt. Not that my wishes matter. Especially since I don't seem to exist to him any longer.

Right, that's enough self-pity for one night. Back to studying, though my eyes are already tired today. Perhaps I should just take a short break.

Always stays the same
Nothing ever changes
English summer rain
Seems to last for ages
I'm in the basement, baby
You're in the sky
I'm in the basement, baby
Drop on by
Hold your breath and count to ten
Fall apart and start again

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Date:2003-05-05 22:50
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I should post to this more often, I feel. But nothing is happening. Foster's back with Locksley in tow, and I'm happy for them in a sort of vague detached way. Mostly I've been revising for N.E.W.T.s, because as much as I'd love to think that grades stop mattering when you're out of school, employers will look at my school record and take note.

I have a growing urge to disappear. After graduation, just take off. Not tell anyone where I'm going. Escape my family, my past, and everything that continually drags me down. Perhaps go to America. Or live in England somewhere, but as a Muggle. Where the Montague name won't mean anything, where I'll just be a young woman looking to get by. It's an appealing idea.

Also appealing is the prospect of the party this weekend. After all, no work and all play, et cetera. I seem to have taken MacNeil's place as the recluse of Slytherin. I should really get out of my room and be a bit more social; only a few more months here, so I might as well enjoy them. Or something to that effect. I'm told that the theme is Midsummer Night's Dream gone glittery...I think I've already got something that may work.
Picture cut so as not to clog pages.Collapse )

That should suffice, I think.

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Date:2003-04-29 09:32
Subject:
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Mood:working

I really ought to write in this thing more often. But as usual, I find I have nothing to say. I'm only peripherally related to what's going on. I don't know Locksley at all, and while I do like Foster and have a lot of respect for him, I wouldn't exactly call us friends. Nor am I really that friendly with the whole circle that's sprung up to try and get those two back together.

Mother once told me that women were destined to be marginalized, always pushed to the side for the more important events of men. While I don't believe this is true at all times, I do think I'm on the sidelines; the issue of whether or not I have problems shrinks before the epic task ahead of Foster. All I can do is hope it works out.

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Date:2003-04-23 23:52
Subject:
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Mood: discontent

I'm back. Foster, I have the books you asked for. I also have copies of the records of a court case from a few years back that might be helpful - it had to do with immigration rights and a lifebonded pair, and I'm not sure I understood all of it but it seemed useful.

And I realised just how ready I am to get out of here. Being away, if only for a day, was wonderful. I can't wait for the year to be over.

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Date:2003-04-22 10:21
Subject:
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Mood: infuriated

As a seventh year, you are permitted occasional trips off school grounds that are not for the purposes of holiday visits. All trips must be cleared with the Headmaster and Head of House beforehand.

However, as a Head student you may take trips without the clearance from the Head of House. If it is an emergency, please inform your fellow Head student and he or she will inform the Headmaster of your absence.


Sometimes I love my job.

I'm off for a few days. Research and book-purchasing in London. I'm going to look up the family barrister as well to see what he can do. Wilkins is good, I'm sure he can come up with something. I'll be back Thursday night at the absolute latest.

I may not be able to control my own life, but I can bloody well help others.

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Date:2003-04-21 23:45
Subject:
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Mood: uncomfortable

I'd scream and rant and rave, but I have nothing to say.

...is it right that I should feel so cold when it's springtime out?

I've always hated summer. For various reasons, some as silly as the fact that I sunburn easily. Others I don't want to talk about. I much prefer winter. It's clear and stark and easy to understand. Quiet and still.

I think I need some of that stillness now, because I'm afraid the control I keep over myself may be slipping. Don't be surprised if I'm not around the halls lately; enjoy the freedom, I suppose. There are things I'd rather not force myself to see for a while.

I don't necessarily like it, but the facade is all I have.

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Date:2003-04-17 10:37
Subject:
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Mood: cynical

Some people are too blind to see what's right in front of them. And too stubborn to take the chance they have.

I'm going to be scarce for the next few days; realised we have NEWTs to prepare for, so I'll be in my room drawing up a plan for revising. If anyone absolutely needs me, come find me; otherwise, please leave me in peace.

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Date:2003-04-14 01:12
Subject:
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Mood: bitchy

Just to clarify something:

I am not petty enough to ruin anyone's good name. I have too much respect for even the person I hate most to do that. However, using a name that a person has used to describe him or herself in self-deprecating humor is not a slur on their character; it is merely acknowledging their personal views.

And I don't care enough to try and ruin other people's budding romances.

Nor do I particularly care what anyone else thinks about how I choose to spend my free time or with whom I choose to spend it.

That's all.

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Date:2003-04-11 13:04
Subject:
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Mood: naughty

I do wish I could go home for the holidays, and get out of this place. But Mother and Father have insisted that I stay in case any of my housemates need me. They're really tremendously proud of me for being Head Girl.

The only thing that'd make Mama happier is if I were dating a nice young wizard, with whom I would settle down immediately after graduation. She understands that I want to go on and have a career and that frankly, love isn't in my plans. But she still wants grandchildren.

Her jaw would drop like a tonne of bricks if she found I was just having a long-standing casual fling with one of the Gryffinwhores. It might be fun to let her find out just to see her reaction. After all, she'd probably ask why I was in such a good mood. "Because of Adie's clever new tongue piercing, Mama." Heh.

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Date:2003-04-08 09:25
Subject:
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Mood: sore

Why, today of all days, did I wake up with a headache? No, of course I couldn't get one on a weekend. Had to get it on a Tuesday.

And I've got to grit my teeth and be nice to Foster and his boyfriend. I mean, I'm glad they're happy with each other, but watching the two of them ooze sap all over the halls when I'm in a black mood like this is not going to be entertaining. Let's just hope I don't lash out and say something really awful.

Maybe I'll just take some points from some younger Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors. That always lightens my mood. And it's no trouble to find them making mischief. That reminds me, I should find McCloy the Smaller and tell him to leave my housemates alone. I don't like Aileen more than anyone else does, but having her moping all over the place is really grating.

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Date:2003-04-07 23:38
Subject:
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Finally got myself one of these things. I suppose it'll help me acclimate to the Muggle world.

Celina Montague. If you need my help for anything, just ask. I may be a Slytherin, but not all snakes bite.

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